I took my son to his first drum lesson yesterday. I think I was more excited than he was. He's been wanting to play the drums for more than a year. And when you are only 5 getting ready to turn 6, that's a long time. My husband and I encourage him when he mentions an instrument he wants to play and have often found ourselves on a field trip to the music store just to look around. My son is a "Renaissance Man" and is interested in a lot of things. It's on of the things I really like about him. Anyway, as his first lesson progressed, I found myself unconsciously thinking:
"When are they going to nurture the spark?"
"When are they going to let him express himself?"
How is he ever going to know the satisfaction of self expression if the whole lesson is technical? Why would he ever want to continue these lessons and work on technique at the age of 5 if he never gets to show his teacher what he's got? I just couldn't get these nagging questions to quiet down.
All that being said, I have to say that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the the lesson or the teacher. It was age appropriate. He learned some basics and thank goodness it was only thirty minutes. It just seemed very academic - all work and no play. Almost like it was designed to make me happy. I absolutely understand the necessity of fundamentals and all of that. And I had to laugh because every time my son tried to talk, the teacher nipped that in the bud. And anyone who knows my son, knows that he's a talker and it would be thirty minutes before the lesson even started? He has a lot to say. And he wants you to listen. So, as impressed as I was at the teacher's ability to keep focus, I kept feeling like there was no room for Jackson in his lesson. I feel like that in my life too sometimes. I've been working on putting more "Tiffiny" in my day.
Now I've come to accept that I'm a little different than a lot of other parents, especially in my priorities. And since I haven't quite found my "tribe" in my daily life, I run into this on a somewhat regular basis. Nurturing that spark, that light, creativity, heart, spirit - whatever you call it is so important to me. I don't always know how to do it, but it is always my intention. I feel like it's my job. It's priceless and it needs nourishment. Of course, really I want that too , but I guess that's what we do. We offer what we also need ourselves. And I know it's unrealistic that every person, teacher, mentor he comes in contact with will help support this goal, but I had high hopes for the music lesson without even realizing it.
So many of our lights get dim way too early. Many American families feel stresed out and crave more balance in their lives. I do too. But what is balance? More comfort? Less things to do? Less stress? Maybe. Or maybe it means more spark?
I know I'm not alone. So instead of trying to jam a square peg into a round hole like I've tried to do in the past. I will accept what is as best I can and continue to search for my tribe.
PS Jackson said to me this evening, "Mom, you have played drums enough for one day. It's time to stop but don't worry, you can play tomorrow at 10 am." I told you I was as excited as he is!
tg
