So what's wrong with a little "down time" at home?

Most everyone loves three day weekends and I am no exception.  But I found myself in one of my familiar holiday patterns.  Especially when they are low key like this one.  I had a general idea of how the weekend was going to go. Some things changed, but overall, the weekend was good.  I did find myself wishing I had more exciting plans.  Living in Richmond, VA, it felt like half the people I talked to on Friday were on their way to the Outer Banks.   I was still not feeling well, my husband was sick and my son was fighting off a cold. Not to mention, I had a lot of work to do.  So I was fine staying home most of Saturday. In fact, I enjoyed it. But then I got antsy.  I thought of holidays gone by with nostalgia and wished I was with family or friends having a cookout or camping or something.  Then I do something that never ends well.  I check Facebook and compare my insides to other's outsides.  Worse than just their outsides, there Facebook personas!  Never a good idea.  I just noticed I did this recently.  If I'm feeling bored, lonely, or whatever and check Facebook, I look at all the fun people are having.  I "like" all those pictures of parties and get togethers my "friends" are having and feel jealous of all the picturesque scenes of beaches, sunsets and mountains.

So what's wrong with a little "down time" at home?

I've never liked being home much. I thought it was just because I was an extrovert.  But now I think it's more than that.  Yes, I like feeling connected to people around me and I like outside stimulation, but I also have a difficult time switching gears.  In the past, I'd go, go, go until I was wiped out and then crash.  Life has a more moderate rhythm these days but when There is too much idle time, it feels uncomfortable.  Like when I worked from home, I could never just sit and do nothing, I felt the need to work.  Now I work outside the home and feel like if I'm home, I should be cleaning and taking care of the house.  Now, I'm not trying to change this impulse per se, but I am noticing that it's there.  I'm curious about it rather than jumping to conclusions.  What's this about?

When I make the shift from doing to being, it feels uncomfortable. It's a bumpy transition. I feel the need to fill my time, even my relaxation.  First I will meditate for this amount of time, then journal, then walk. And I'm the one who says I rebel against too much structure!  As I slow down, my mind gets more active. Like when I was pregnant, the baby hardly moved when I'd take a tap (dance) class but when I'd lay down at night to sleep, he was flip flopping all over the place.  And so it is with my mind and my feelings.  I need to be OK with being a little uncomfortable.  It helps to observe my feelings and ride the wave.  When I ride the wave, I can slide into a different rhythm with much more ease and harmony.

Happy Labor Day!

t